The Natural Laws of Golf
Scientifically tested and proved to be as immutable as they come.
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by Sir Isaac Mulligan
1) If you really want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
2) The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
3) Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is really the beginning of the next group of three.
4) When you look up, causing an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
5) Any change works for a maximum of three holes - or at a minimum of not at all.
6) No matter how bad you are playing, it is always possible to play worse.
7) Never try to keep more than 300 separate thoughts in your mind during your swing.
8) When your shot has to carry over a water hazard, you can either hit one more club or two more balls.
9) If you're afraid a full shot might reach the green while a foursome ahead of you is still putting out, you have two options: you can immediately shank a lay up, or you can wait until the green is clear and top a ball halfway there.
10) The less skilled the player, the more likely he is to share his ideas about the golf swing.
11) The inevitable result of any golf lesson is the instant elimination of the one critical unconscious motion that allowed you to compensate for all of your many other errors.
12) If it ain't broke, try changing your grip.
13) Golfers who claim they don't cheat, also lie.
14) Everyone replaces his divot after a perfect approach shot.
15) A golf match is a test of your skill against your opponents luck.
16) It's surprisingly easier to hole a 50-foot putt when you lie 8.
17) Nonchalant putts count the same as chalant putts.
18) It's not a gimme if you're still away.
19) The shortest distance between any two points on a golf course is a straight line that passes directly through the center of a very large tree.
20) There are two kinds of bounces: unfair bounces and bounces just the way you meant to play it.
21) You can hit a 2 acre fairway 10% of the time and a 2 inch branch 90% of the time.
22) Every time a golfer makes a birdie, he must subsequently make two triple bogeys to restore the fundalmental equillibrium of the universe.
23) If you want to hit a 7 iron as fas as Tiger Woods does, simply try to lay up just short of a water hazard.
24) There are two things you can learn by stopping your backswing at the top and checking the position of your hands: how many hands you have and which one is wearing a glove.
25) Hazards attract; fairways repel.
26) You can put "draw" on the ball, you can put "fade" on the ball, but no golfer can put "straight" on the ball.
27) A ball you can see in the rough from 50 yards away is not yours.
28) If there is a ball on the fringe and a ball in the bunker, your ball is in the bunker.
29) If both balls are in the bunker, yours is in the footprint.
30) Don't buy a putter until you've had a chance to throw it.