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When you ride ALONE you ride with bin Laden | 1, 2, 3
Crazy Talk
 T'S IMPORTANT TO REMEMBER as America focuses on the Arab world as our prime terrorist threat that just because other people aren't blowing themselves up to get at us, that's just lucky. Just lucky the African or Filipino or Mexican temperament -- or religion or history or whatever -- hasn't taken them in the "72 Virgins" direction, too, because the hate is present on every continent, and some of it is justified.
Here's one example: we've spent billions on something called Plan Colombia, which, if you're not familiar, allows you to get the first 12 CDs for just a penny. Actually, it's a scheme to address our mammoth coke jones by defoliating the coca fields of Colombia. We love coke, so you get agent-oranged -- sound fair? U.S. planes have thus far showered defoliant on more than 200,000 acres, killing not just coca plants but entire ecosystems: damaging legitimate crops, poisoning water supplies, killing fish and livestock, uprooting entire villages, and causing people to suffer fevers, diarrhea, allergies and rashes.
And that's why they hate us: because, to keep drugs out of Bobby Brown's glove box, we kill peasants in Putumayo. If we did this kind of thing to the Arabs, they'd actually have the kind of beef with us that they think they do.
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And that's why they hate us: because, to keep drugs out of Bobby Brown's glove box, we kill peasants in Putumayo. If we did this kind of thing to the Arabs, they'd actually have the kind of beef with us that they think they do.
By the way -- not that you probably couldn't have guessed this about a government plan -- it doesn't work. When a coca field is successfully sprayed, of course the farmers simply move their operation to another valley, like a Whack-a-Mole game. Not to mention that we're sending military hardware and "advisors" into the middle of a convoluted civil war with two leftist guerilla armies fighting the government, right wing paramilitary forces fighting the guerillas, and civilians trapped in the middle. It's Vietnam in Spanish.
But hey, it's got to be done, because some of the plants that grow in the southern hemisphere are just plain evil. We know that because they're not stamped with labels like Bristol-Meyers Squibb, Eli Lilly or Pfizer. And it's vital that we understand that these southern hemisphere plants and their cultivators are to blame, because the alternative is to believe that our national appetite for drugs is our own problem. And that's just crazy talk.
Like any addict, when it comes to the Drug War, the United States is in fun denial. What our posturing, moralizing leadership pretends they don't know is that if it wasn't Colombian cocaine, it'd be Bolivian cocaine, and if it wasn't that it'd be homemade methadone or a forty or glue or stolen pills or pot or ecstasy. It'd be something, because the mind is a terrible place to be stuck sober. The Department of Stopping Fun can show me all the statistics in the world about how usage of a certain drug has dropped off, but what they never tell you is it's because people found something else. They always will. Whether you can it wine, women and song, or sex, drugs and rock 'n' roll, humans like certain pleasures, and it's really not worth making whole countries hate us by "fighting" something so deep. People like to alter their mood, mostly because other people screw up the planet with dumb laws and dumb decisions that just make you have to do something at the end of the day.
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