The "Nudie Suit" story
Life teaches us important lessons in mysterious ways, like telling us to give up our favorite western wear.
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by The Fat Man

The Ugly Suit

UDIE MADE THE GREATEST SUITS IN THE WORLD. He made Elvis' famous gold lame outfit, which was reputed to have cost $10,000. Nudie would add that $9,500 was profit. He made all of Porter Wagoner's rhinestone suits. He is credited with having invented the rhinestone shirt. He made the light-up suit for the movie "Electric Horseman." Tammy Wynette found out she was pregnant with George Jones' child when she noticed her Nudie Suit didn't fit. Nudie was, not arguably, the greatest cowboy tailor. He had come from the Old Country and made a name for himself. At his peak, he could be seen driving his huge, handcrafted, horse-trophy-bearing limos through Hollywood, passing out dollar bills to kids -- his picture was pasted over George Washington's. A special man, and a real artist. He died in 1984 at age 81, and his shop closed ten years after.

In the early Nineties, my brother Dave called me from Taos, New Mexico. Dave is the drummer for Asleep at the Wheel, a job which has earned him a small fistful of Grammies. Dave was calling because he had found two Nudie suits in a second hand clothing store. He whispered into the phone that the owners didn't know what they had. He wanted the "good-looking one," for himself, and I could have the "ugly one" for $250. I told him I didn't care what was on it, what condition it was in, what the pattern was on it, or what size it was, I wanted it. One day, I had a feeling it had arrived. I waited by the mailman's truck until he showed up and handed me the big, brown-wrapped package. When I tried on "the ugly suit," which was a perfect fit, I felt wonderful. At last I was where I belonged. I felt, I imagine, the way a transvestite feels when he first tries on the bra.

It was great for my career. All of the pictures of me that are well-known were taken in the suit. I wore it to every trade show. After a while, I traded a computer to Dave for the "good-looking" suit, but I had to promise that I'd leave it to him in my will. Some folks would say I got pretty famous with the help of those two outfits.

"The Ugly Suit" is brick red, with about 50 hand-stitched, painted leather silver dollars on it. Each silver dollar is about the size of a pizza or cupcake, and is surrounded with a tightly spaced circle of the finest rhinestones. The dollars on the right side are all stitched tails, and those on the left are heads. It's the best-looking thing I'd ever owned.

"The Good-Looking Suit" is black, with hand-embroidered gold buckets of money dumping out all over it. It's gaudy and elegant. It appears on the cover of Hank Thompson's "Live in Las Vegas" album, which I've heard said was the first live country album. Who knows.

Dave wore the black suit to the Grammies, and was the best-dressed guy there. Bonnie Raitt got on the elevator with him and gave him a look. "Heavy Suit." "Thanks." At a later Grammy show, Dave ran into Hank Thompson. They talked about the suit as though it were a woman they'd both slept with. "Sure was heavy." "Yup." As Dave was leaving, Hank's wife showed up. Dave thought he heard Hank's wife call after him -- something about the suit.

In 100 Years of Western Wear, the book about outfits like this, there's a chapter or two about Nudie. A couple of Hank Thompson's suits are shown. Hank is a great Country singer who was one of Nudie's biggest customers. Nudies were Hank's trademark. The book says, "if anybody knows the whereabouts of Hank's Gold Nugget Suit, please contact the publisher." I called, got in touch with Hank's manager, and was assured that there was no problem with my owning the suits.

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